I had been tagged by the Exceptionally Beautiful and Wonderfully Talented, as well as sick and twisted, DUCKIE2318 [link] Make sure you take the time to go see her stuff. You will be amazed! You will be astounded! You will be sodomized by midgets! I took my own sweet ass time writing this thing. But here it is for your viewing pleasures. Don’t goo up my site cuz you can’t keep it in your pants.

5 Favourite actors…

1. Sean Bean
2. Bruce Willis
3. Tom Hanks
4. Clive Owen
5. Christopher Eccleston

5 Favourite actresses...

1. Billie Piper
2. Angelina Jolie
3. Jordana Brewster
4. Cate Blanchett
5. Greta Schroder

5 Favourite musicians...

1. You know, I like music
2. But I don’t take the time
3. To figure out
4. Who’s who
5. In the band

5 Favourite bands

1. Nickelback
2. Sister Hazel
3. Matchbox Twenty
4. Slayer
5. Glenn Miller & His Orchestra

5 Favourite movies

1. Silent Hill
2. The Howling
3. Saving Private Ryan
4. The Virgin Suicides
5. Serenity

5 Things that scare you...

1. Waking up in the morning and finding out that I am still me
2. Fat assed women in spandex
3. Transvestites who make great looking women
4. Having my checkbook balance on the first try
5. Waking up next to a fat guy, fat girl, and 3 midgets and remembering the whole affair

5 Things you like the most...

1. Not stumbling over my tongue when talking with a beautiful woman
2. Getting my drugs for free
3. The cop not arresting me as he watched me get my drugs for free
4. Having my attention reciprocated
5. Waking up in the morning

5 Things you don't like...

1. Two Faced Assholes
2. Getting real grass instead of grass
3. Midget’s penises in my ears
4. Being intentionally jerked around
5. Working for a living

5 Stupid things you have done

1. Stayed friends with a woman who was once attracted to me but then only used me as a gopher and lackey
2. Stayed in a bad relationship because I was afraid to be alone
3. Got caught__________(fill in the blank)
4. Got married
5. Woke up next to a fat guy, fat girl, 3 midgets, and remembered everything

5 Important things in your room...

1. Computer
2. Television
3. Telephone
4. Stacks and stacks of porn
5. Tissue paper for #4

5 Random facts about you...

1. I look like Jesus, the Devil, and Phil (True story behind that…)
2. I am not a virgin
3. I would do anything for a friend
4. I fake looking competent really good
5. I have never had sex with a goat (except that one time, but there was a lot of drugs involved. I mean a lot of drugs…)

5 Favourite drinks...

1. Screwdriver
2. Fuzzy Navel
3. Sex on the Beach
4. Melon Ball
5. Whiskey

5 People that don’t deserve what they have...

1. George W. Bush (Presidency)
2. Paul, the dick that I work for (Notoriety – He’s considered a god)
3. Tom Cruise (Fame)
4. Donald Trump (Money)
5. Paris Hilton (Acting Credentials)

5 Things you plan to do before you die...

1. Win the lottery
2. Own a football team
3. Meet Duckie2318
4. Start a worldwide fashion trend (just don’t know what though)
5. Have a threesome with the Olsen Twins

5 Things that attract you to the opposite sex...

1. Eyes
2. Smile
3. Personality
4. Sense of Humor
5. Looks

5 Worst people on the earth in your eyes

1. George W. Bush
2. Bill Clinton
3. Tom Cruise
4. Tom Green
5. Me

5 Things you say the most...

1. Fuck
2. Shit
3. You’re a dick
4. Yeah, but…
5. I like chickens, Eddie

5 Celebrity or character crushes...

1. Jessica Simpson
2. Charisma Carpenter
3. Tyra Banks
4. Milla Jovovich
5. Duckie2318

5 People that would make great vampires…

1. Jessica Simpson
2. Willam Dafoe
3. David Tennant
4. Jake Gyllenhaal
5. Kate Beckinsale

5 Things that changed your life...

1. Drugs
2. Sex
3. Alcohol
4. Gale (my ex)
5. Internet porn

Tag 5 people

1. Don’t know anyone
2. And I don’t like the
3. Idea of randomly tagging
4. Them if they aren’t
5.Gonna see that I tagged them.

So there!